Autumn

The house that my family live in is very old and extremely draughty. It is lovely to visit at any time of year but in the Autumn and Winter the house comes alive.


Bitterly cold, yes, (don't forget your slippers! And woolies!) but a log fire in nearly every room, the aga grumbling away in the kitchen producing delicious pies, cakes and soups, and the old trees filling the garden with golden and orange leaves. This was my weekend and it was lovely.


The house is near to a small woods and Smithills Coaching House, a beautiful 14th century hall and coaching house. We pootled around the grounds (which are open and free any time) after breakfast today, and I took some snaps. Definitely worth a trip if you're ever up northerly.









X

Wonder woman?

(Wonder woman. Hook for my post and a timely costume reminder for Halloween!)

 As I get older my views about women change and develop, as does my self awareness, and I want to record some of that here, in this space.

I have a wee tendency to be a bit of a masochist. You may have noticed. Early morning gym sessions, home made Christmas and Birthday presents, restricting the clothes I buy for 3 months and (admittedly failed, sob) attempts to grow vegetables. I am on a never ending quest for life improvement. I am not saying that these things are necessarily bad. To me, being more thoughtful about what clothes I buy makes buying them infinitely more satisfying. Making Christmas and Birthday presents happens to be very enjoyable for me, and saves us a fortune. I feel great after I exercise and I love running; I sleep better afterwards, and I feel more energized.

But a few articles Ive read recently remind me to be careful not to fall in the trap of never- quite- being- good- enough, a trap that i think too many women fall in to, knowingly or unknowingly. I read an article about 'Wonder Woman sydrome'  in a free UK publication called Stylist magazine recently. It asked readers to see how many of the following statements they identified with (This is just a snippet)

• You often feel guilty because you've forgotten a loved one's birthday - you're just too busy to register dates
• When a friend tells you she's planning to run the marathon, you think, "I should be running it too"
• You often fall asleep on the train home
• You secretly enjoy a bout of flu because it gives you a break
• You trawl the net for new exhibitions, restaurants and bars to visit on dates with your man - a takeaway at home won't cut it
• You've already bought several of the new season's key fashion pieces and are just waiting for the weather to change to debut them
• A friend mentions a book she's reading and you feel panicked that you've never heard of it
• You have at least one hobby, like learning a new language, which you don't really enjoy, but do because it's 'improving'

You may or may not identify with all the statements, (I'm probably in reluctant agreement with about 70% of them) but the general gist is that women put themselves under insane amounts of pressure.

I think female blogger's are particularly talented masochists. We must take beautiful photographs to accompany our profound and inspiring posts. We must work, have a fulfilling relationship, be really creative or crafty, cook like Nigella, have photogenic babies, open an etsy shop selling vintage wares, have Apartment Therapy worthy homes and dress stylishly. Oh and we must blog all of this regularly at least 4 times a week. Got that? Ye-ah.

In  motherhood it becomes even more pressuring.  Did any of you read this pretty explosive article in theage?

I found it fascinating, even though I didnt agree with lots of it, because it really got me thinking. Badinter argues that modern women are creating huge levels of work and guilt for themselves, and essentially martyring themselves for the sake of being the perfect woman. She blames the environmental movement and babies themselves for pushing women back into the home and back to servitude and 'nurturing'. She sees the move towards more 'natural' mothering (ie breastfeeding, use of cloth nappies etc) as women deliberately inflicting pain on themselves, and pushing women back into Victorian times. (Hence; explosive!)

Her article is focused on motherhood, but parts of it could be applied to all women. When you think about the move toward seasonal cooking, home grown vegetables, cloth nappies; I am sure she would say that women are deliberately inflicting pain on themselves. I don't actually agree with this. I am pretty conscious and informed about my decisions to make cleaning products, and cook seasonally where possible; and these things actively contribute to my happiness and contendedness.  I also believe her argument completely disregards men, who in lots of cases (including mine) share the housework equally, and are as equally committed to living a more 'natural' lifestyle.  But her approach was interesting and reminds me not to be too self sacrificial in trying to Do The Right Thing, and Be A Little Better. To just be sometimes, and roll with it. (While im on this subject, you must read this post on women, self worth and self sacrifice- so, so inspiring, and one of the reasons for this post.)

After talking about balance with a very good friend recently, she asked me to map out the hours in my day. A literal hour by hour, blow by blow list of how I spend my time. And I realised that I was spending disproportionate time on some areas that I kind of like and hardly any time on other areas that I love. I recommend making a list like this, it can be very eye opening. I have decided to limit my time in the black hole that is 'blog surfing'. You know. You read a favourite blog. You follow a link. You  find another blogger. And you click through their links... and suddenly 4 hours have passed. Urg. I like blog surfing but there has to be limits. And spend more time writing. And reading. And making stuff.

I am also going to try and chill the fuck out and be a little kinder to myself.

How about you?  How on earth do you find balance in it all, without sacrificing yourself? What do you make of Badinters theories? I'm intrigued...

Have a lovely, lovely weekend cherries! (i'm going to be soaking up the Autumn as much as possible...)

Bob Bob Ricard

Bob Bob Ricard is a decadent, eccentric and opulent restaurant in London with a stunning 1930's art deco interior. I discovered it recently and have fallen in love, verging into the realms of obsession actually...

I think you should go. To celebrate something. Or to commiserate. Or for no reason whatsoever.

I went for a birthday lunch over the weekend and ate the Russian dumplings. Y to the um.

My bank balance is not so happy about my new love. Twice in 10 days is getting a little silly....

And and, we totally pressed the button...

P.s you can read more about my favourite places in London if you click on the Love London label.

Bridesmaid shoes

I promised some more sneak peaks as purple bridesmaid for Rays wedding. Fresh from my recent no spend summer,  I didnt want to buy lots of new things for my bridesmiads outfit (where possible). So rather than buy a new pair of shoes for the wedding I decided to spray paint a pair of vintage shoes I already owened but didnt wear that much.

Before (after being sanded, sorry for dodgy picture quality)

 After 

Complete with liberty insoles, hand made by Ray. She made insoles for both bridesmaids and goomsmen. Pretty rad, huh. 

I loved my shoes. I adored my whole outfit, actually. And cant wait to show you more. 

whoa

Lots has been happening. Lots that I havent blogged about, that I havent even had much time to think about.  Like a birthday. A blog friend meet up. An amazing wedding. Making 200 mteres of bunting, a guest book and a table plan. Delivering a speech. Attending a film premiere. Oh yeah, and finding out that I am losing my job.

Insanity has been but a hairs breadth away. Thank goodness for Misters and shopping* and Turkish food*. Thats all I have to say about that.

*My mister was working during my birthday so this weekend he is spoiling me. Party. 

*On Tuesday evening my mister and I, too lazy to cook,  decided to visit our favourite local turkish restaurant. It was freezing, but on stepping through the door we were greeted by the smell of lamb and vegetables being grilled over hot coals, and the gorgeous heat from the wood fired bread oven. After stuffing our faces we came home and watched Trueblood in bed with hot chocolate. It was pure perfection, I tell you.

Also, I've been listening to Villagers. Beautiful.

Bridesmaid nails

Dear much loved wedding nails,
It’s probably time to say goodbye. I have a work meeting soon and they don’t quite express the professionalism and maturity I am hoping to convey. I hereby capture you for all eternity,



Yours,

Hannah

P.s The wedding was just perfect. I was purple bridesmaid. Pink bridesmaid had matching pink hearts. We both had vintage floral dresses. And shit hot nails.

P.p.s I will share some sneak peaks and photo’s as soon as humanly possible. You are going to FLIP.

Slow...

The early morning light in our bedroom. One of my favourite things.  

Life is... well, a bit arse about tit at the moment. My job is in the balance, along with thousands of other public sector workers in the UK, and its thrown me a little. And rays wedding is this weekend! (Gracious- so excited!) But I have lots and lots to do.  Amongst other (secret!) things Ive been sewing which means at least I am sitting in one place and can listen to soothing things. Like the radio. Or the womens hour podcasts. or Ted talks. Today I listened to this talk which praises slowness. It was a timely reminder.  It is sometimes too easy to rush through life, wishing it away. I wish we had a little more money. I wish my job was secure. I wish we could finish paying off our debt. I wish we could hurry up and build a house. I wish we could travel all over the world, to be a writer, to spend more time on our collective... i wish, i wish i wish.... but sometimes I need to be reminded to stop wishing it away. To just be here.

So here I am. Enjoying my perfectly made cup of tea. Reveling in the creative mess and chaos that is necessary to prepare for the wedding on saturday.  Appreciating our cosy flat, my mister, potatoes, the heating. You know...

Here's to you, cherries...


x

Birthday!

Things have been a little tense this week in casa seeds and stitches, with both me and my mister being buffeted by external factors outside of our control. But this has just given me a big dose of loveliness. ...



Dear Florence, Thank you for my birthday wishes, you are so clever! With a lot of love from your God mother.

X

Rug

The rug in our lounge has seen better days.

It is officially disintegrating. The lining is turning to white dust.  It has absorbed so much red wine and beer that I would not be surprised to learn that a small micro- culture was thriving in there. It is thin. Old. Fraying.

Its been danced on, on numerous occasions by groups of friends, late at night with the lounge windows flung open. Its been eaten from; Fish and chip dinners and bowls of cereal. Its been slept on by multiple bodies; stag nights, family visits, drunken friends.  Its been puked on, exercised on, sprawled on.

But its time to say goodbye to my old rug. And find a brand new one.

My heart is set on this one. But alas, my wallet will not be able to satisfy my hearts desires. Twas ever thus...

Felt Rugs

Actually, I lied to you- this rug is my fave. In fact, is this the best rug ever created?! Its by Donna Wilson. Yeah! the fox lady!

Mountain rug

This next one is more subtle, but stylish, no? It gets extra points because it is made in the Shetland's and comes with all sorts of ethical badges. Its more reasonably priced too. But, is it a little... boring? say no?

Woven Ground

Then there's this one from Urban Outfitters. Pretty but at £35 it was almost certainly made by children or vastly underpaid adults in horrible conditions. Silly rug. And actually, I bought my current rug from UO (before silly issues like ethics bothered me as much) and it disintegrated after 2 years so I'm thinking no. But its pretty.  No getting round it. 

Urban Outfitters

This rug is nice too.  I would quite like it. I would. But alas, it cannot be purchased in Britain. Would it induce migraines?

West Elm

Oh the indecision....

Nothing like a bit of vacuous blogging about rugs to distract you from the nasties of the real world (like job uncertainty. And big decisions. And dirty ovens) 

So firstly, which do you like? Would no 2 be a bit boring? (The rest of my lounge is quite colourful)

And secondly on a scale of 1 to middle- aged, how weird would it be if I asked for a new rug for my birthday tomorrow?

x

Cookathon part deux...

(A snap of my morning walk through the park at the moment) 
Last wednesday, with a glut of potato and wishing to stray out of my normal 'wet food' comfort zone, I decided to make a potato bake with chard (Yes, more chard, can't get enough). Up until this point I had never (NEVER) made Bechamel sauce. Im not sure how my life has functioned thus thus far with out it.

For the White sauce (or sweet nectar, as I keep wanting to call it) I adapted a recipe I found on a website which recomended making the white sauce in the microwave (crazy, huh), and which could be made with low fat butter/marj, skimmed milk and flour. The sweet blend of the butter and milk, perfumed with nutmeg was enough to make me want to give up on the potatoes all together and sit on the floor with my jug of white sauce and a spoon, and polish the whole lot off there and then. But I didnt, you'll be pleased to know. I layered thin slices of potato with chunks of white onion which was spread over the bottom of a casserole dish. A thick duvet of dark green chard was laid ontop of the potato and onion, and the sweet white sauce was poured over the lot. Another layer of potato topped it off with some more onion and another layer of white sauce, and into the oven for an hour it went. What greeted me was surely one of the most deliciously simple meals I have ever prepared. It is the kind of meal that should be eaten at an old wooden table in a cottage with a roaring fire nearby and the wind howling outside. I dont have a cottage, or a fire but I did have my bake, my table, the faint sound of radio 4 murmuring in the background and the rain hammering at the black windows. Good enough for me.



Thursday, with yet more potatoes, I decided to attempt potato cakes. They were incredibly easy to prepare, simply stirring flour in to mash potato until it forms a dough, rolling it out to about 1cm thick and cutting it in to squares. Then I laid them in a hot dry frying pan until both sides were golden brown. They were completely delicious, dense with a slight crisp to the outside, and perfect served with wilted watercress and a soft boiled egg, the watercress adding a peppery pop and the soft boiled egg providing a creamy sauce. I made a large batch and wrapped them in brown paper and put them in the freezer. By friday all my hard work was rewarded with a freezer stocked full of soup, stew, potato bake and potato cakes. But almost as quickly as it was stocked it was empty again. The weekend came and brought with it a visit from my brother, a lot of sewing for Ray's wedding, watching Precious (oh my) and generally staying at home and eating up all the food that had been cooked over the week. So. back to square one*.

C'est la vie...


P.s no images of the food as I didn't have the camera. I am
no food stylist, and it's very easy to make food photography look like sick in a bowl too. Thought i'd spare you that...


*I guess this is the point of cooking, You know, to EAT it. But still.

Beans on toast tonight, honey?