Well-meaning and perhaps not so well- meaning things friends, strangers and family members have said to me in the last few months:
On my preferred sitting position:
"When you sit with your hands on your belly, you remind me of Homer Simpson."
*guffaw* "You look like a dirty old man sat like that (from my husband- on sitting knees akimbo to accomodate my bump. He didn't say it again. )
On size:
"Oh my god, you're massive/colossal/HUGE" (Is it ever nice to hear these words?!)
"You're going to double in size in the last few weeks. No, you LITERALLY will."
On peeing:
"Up twice in the night to pee?! Thats nothing. Soon you'll be up 12 times."
On overhearing a conversation about bladder pressure with a friend: "Sexy!"
On eating:
"Lets have dinner! Meet at 8.45pm?" (Um, how about 6.00pm? 5.00?!)
"Wow, thats impressive, you really ARE eating for two!"
"Gosh is that your fourth biscuit?"
On seeing my baby move in my belly:
*screech* (pale face...)
"URGH"
"Gross"
"It's like Alien!" (actually, I didn't mind this too much- its true)
On water retention:
"Do ALL pregnant women get ankles like yours?!"
"it gets much, much worse"
I have excluded the birth/post birth comments in the interests of brevity and because I dont want to spoil your dinner. Permanently. Suffice to say, people say the darndest things.
Oh, and things to say? Variations of: You look lovely! Very stylish! Lovely lipstick! Nice shoes! So pretty! You get the idea. Even if it is ever so slightly vacuous and not strictly true. Hm kay?!
P.s Just in case friends are reading this and freaking out, I should say that I found most of these comments hilarious, and not offensive at all (other than by the odd comment given by strangers).I just thought I'd share the comedy!
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It it alright to say 'YOUR ARE MAKING AND ACTUAL PERSON INSIDE YOU, and also I like your boots?' because that's what I said to Gaynor the first time I saw her when it was evident she was pregnant!
ReplyDeleteYou always look lovely, and pregnancy hasn't changed that.
Also, People also think it's ok to touch a pregnant person even if they don't know them. It's like making a person inside you means you also give up the right to personal space.
Oh gosh, someone in a shop once said to me, "you must be due any minute!" I wasn't. Not even close.
ReplyDeleteI always wonder why people think it is okay to say things to someone when they are pregnant that they would not normally say. Though I did say to one friend that her bump had grown (I'd not seen her for three weeks, and she had gone from slight curve to BUMP and I was excited so it kind of blurted out). I'll try to be mindful in the future and only say things I would not mind being on the receiving end of!
ReplyDeleteoh, I'm sorry. but the ankles one did make me giggle.
ReplyDeleteanyway, I'm sure you are glowing and as beautiful as ever.
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Oh do NOT get me started!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm off on maternity leave now as most of these sorts of comments were coming from my work colleagues and well, I want to go back at some point. Not sure I could've done that if I'd gone all WWE on their arses.
Kim x
I love that poster and I am tempted to actually print it out and pin it up at my desk at work.
ReplyDeleteMy pregnant friends would second everything you have said above. I've learnt that hard way not to recommend dinner after 7!
lol I longed for people to tell me I was huge, my bump was tiny right up till the end and I worried about it constantly. People don't mean any harm but it does seem all bets are off when its comes to tactful comments during pregnancy..
ReplyDeleteLisa marie- Yes! I would say that's ok in my mind but all pregnant ladies are different. and yes the touching thing is a bit odd but i weirdly don't mind it when its friends or family- I like sharing it with them.
ReplyDeleteKatie- Oh dear.
Siobhan- it sounds like you were very sensitive to me?!
Coffee and cat Hair- yes I hear you. I'm still at work- another week and a half (groan)
Elizabeth- It made me laugh too!
Lil- hah! been a bit tricky to negotiate without forcing my pregnancy eating habits on all of my friends!
Lil- thats true- I have to say I felt the same in the second trimester too- almost a bit like a fraud as I didn't have a bump. I just mean for women in the third trimester- but yes everyone is different.
"wow are you sure there's only one in there? huh huh huh" i am 28 weeks and clearly the size of a house-end BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT
ReplyDeleteAww, I think pregnant woman are really beautiful!x
ReplyDeleteI totally sympathise! I was 2 weeks overdue and quite clearly uncomfortable and fed up, a stranger in the supermarket thought she would remind me how enormous I was and how ' I hadn't dropped at all!' Whatever that means.. but thanks for the encouraging words at this stage!
ReplyDeleteOh gosh! Standard pregnant things to say! i hope I don't say any to anyone!
ReplyDeleteAaaargh! That's brought back some memories-all I can say is, it's worth it!
ReplyDeleteSoon you'll get the best present in the whole wide world!
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This made me laugh. Currently 5 months pregnant with my second and feeling very big this time round, have had a lot of comments about my size "sure you're not having twins"!! Grrrr. Another one I've been asked a few times that I find very rude is " was it planned"....Errrr, yes!!
ReplyDeleteOh darn, I thought I'd commented on this already... hey ho! What I thought I'd said was a classic between two of my friends... Days before one of my best friends gave birth, she met another friend of mine (who'd last seen her at 5 months) and said 'wow, I thought you would have had your baby by now... you were HUGE when I last saw you!' Yup, my friend hasn't forgotten it.
ReplyDeleteYou could also include... things not to say to women who have not long given birth... dufus guy I know asked my friend when she was due – 4 months after she'd given birth. I wanted to kill him for her!
Hope all is well apart from that my dear. Still love thinking of you doing your magical things! x
I wrote a very similar piece on my blog when I was pregnant - http://red-boots.blogspot.com/2011/10/what-not-to-say-to-pregnant-lady.html
ReplyDeletePeople really do seem to think that because you are pregnant they can say anything to you!
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