Well-meaning and perhaps not so well- meaning things friends, strangers and family members have said to me in the last few months:
On my preferred sitting position:
"When you sit with your hands on your belly, you remind me of Homer Simpson."
*guffaw* "You look like a dirty old man sat like that (from my husband- on sitting knees akimbo to accomodate my bump. He didn't say it again. )
"Oh my god, you're massive/colossal/HUGE" (Is it ever nice to hear these words?!)
"You're going to double in size in the last few weeks. No, you LITERALLY will."
"Up twice in the night to pee?! Thats nothing. Soon you'll be up 12 times."
On overhearing a conversation about bladder pressure with a friend: "Sexy!"
"Lets have dinner! Meet at 8.45pm?" (Um, how about 6.00pm? 5.00?!)
"Wow, thats impressive, you really ARE eating for two!"
"Gosh is that your fourth biscuit?"
On seeing my baby move in my belly:
*screech* (pale face...)
"It's like Alien!" (actually, I didn't mind this too much- its true)
On water retention:
"Do ALL pregnant women get ankles like yours?!"
"it gets much, much worse"
I have excluded the birth/post birth comments in the interests of brevity and because I dont want to spoil your dinner. Permanently. Suffice to say, people say the darndest things.
Oh, and things to say? Variations of: You look lovely! Very stylish! Lovely lipstick! Nice shoes! So pretty! You get the idea. Even if it is ever so slightly vacuous and not strictly true. Hm kay?!
P.s Just in case friends are reading this and freaking out, I should say that I found most of these comments hilarious, and not offensive at all (other than by the odd comment given by strangers).I just thought I'd share the comedy!