Things not to say to pregnant ladies

Wasted Rita

Well-meaning and perhaps not so well- meaning things friends, strangers and family members have said to me in the last few months: 

On my preferred sitting position:

"When you sit with your hands on your belly, you remind me of Homer Simpson." 

*guffaw* "You look like a dirty old man sat like that (from my husband- on sitting knees akimbo to accomodate my bump. He didn't say it again. )

On size:

"Oh my god, you're massive/colossal/HUGE" (Is it ever nice to hear these words?!) 

"You're going to double in size in the last few weeks. No, you LITERALLY will."

On peeing:

"Up twice in the night to pee?! Thats nothing. Soon you'll be up 12 times." 

On overhearing a conversation about bladder pressure with a friend: "Sexy!" 

On eating: 

"Lets have dinner! Meet at 8.45pm?" (Um, how about 6.00pm? 5.00?!)

"Wow, thats impressive,  you really ARE eating for two!" 

"Gosh is that your fourth biscuit?"

On seeing my baby move in my belly:

*screech* (pale face...)

"URGH"

"Gross" 

"It's like Alien!" (actually, I didn't mind this too much- its true)

On water retention: 

"Do ALL pregnant women get ankles like yours?!" 

"it gets much, much worse"

I have excluded the birth/post birth comments in the interests of brevity and because I dont want to spoil your dinner. Permanently. Suffice to say, people say the darndest things. 

Oh, and things to say? Variations of: You look lovely! Very stylish! Lovely lipstick! Nice shoes! So pretty! You get the idea. Even if it is ever so slightly vacuous and not strictly true. Hm kay?!

P.s Just in case friends are reading this and freaking out, I should say that I found most of  these comments hilarious, and not offensive at all (other than by the odd comment given by strangers).I just thought I'd share the comedy!

Valentines, belated

Just before Valentines day my mister directed a Valentines promo for Samsung based on the concept of a love note. I've been a bit of a bad wife for not blogging it until now, so I am making amends! My mister and his directing partner created a beautiful installation for the video, which you can see here: It was a big deal for them, and I'm pretty proud.

Samsung 'Love Note' from Academy Plus (A+) on Vimeo.

As for the rest of Valentines...

and mushy peas of course!

A candle lit fish and chip dinner from our favourite local chippy; piping hot and still crispy from the fryer; the steamy sting of the vinegar hitting the back of your throat as you go to eat the first chip; divine. A long hot bath with lavender and epsom salts (my new beauty obsession)  a small amount of very good red wine and some silly washi tape love messages. Lovely. 

I'm a bit bah humbug about Valentines, but when your husband looks at you, with nothing but love and even a bit of awe in his eyes and says "you're brilliant", despite being slouched on the couch in wrinkled pyjama's, biscuit crumbs scattered on your swollen belly and wonky Nora Batty ankles propped on the table;  now that's love. Something I can celebrate. 

Bah humbug or not,  I hope yours was lovely too.

Happy Pancakes!

Whether it is an artfully constructed galette of stewed fruit, quince jelly, cream and crushed hazlenuts, or  dolloped with Nutella and scoffed straight from the pan, here's wishing you a very Happy Pancake day!

Pancake day is one of my favourite days of the year. We had friends round last night for a pancake dinner party, we ate pancakes for dinner tonight and I suspect that we shall continue in this vein for the rest of the week. Our preferred savoury topping is spinach, mushroom and feta cheese; piled together in the pan, folded in half and given time to melt and in a mouthwateringly delicious cheesy, spinachy goo. Berries, whipped cream and maple syrup was truly delightful too, but you simply cant go wrong with lemon and sugar, can you?

Easy, delicious and made for me by a willing husband; today made this pregnant lady very happy.

The beat my heart skipped, and why I love the NHS.

Rather lovely heart embroidery by KnittyMD on Etsy

I have had a few complications and oddities in my pregnancy that I haven't wanted to elaborate on until I knew the outcome either way. One of them was that my placenta was low at my 20 week scan. If it had stayed low I would have had to have a scheduled Cesarean, as it it would have blocked the exit of the baby, and caused me to hemorrhage .  It's now risen. Go Placenta! ( I don't think I've ever spoken to one of my organs as much as Ive spoken to my placenta over the last couple of months...)  I also discovered that I have a unusual blood type that means I have had to have a series of injections to stop my body from potentially expelling future foetuses (yeah). Another was that I discovered that I have myself an irregular ticker. An ectopic heart beat to be precise. An ECG, 24 hour monitoring, an echo cardiogram and a few consultancy sessions later, I have discovered that although slightly odd sounding, my heart is completely healthy. The main sound my baby will hear will be my special, sporadic little heart beat. I kind of love that.


I don't resent any of this, this has simply been my pregnancy. I still consider myself lucky that I got off relatively scott free on the sickness front, that I've felt pretty relaxed, that my hormones have remained relatively- and mercifully- normal and that I've generally felt good (although I'm realising more and more that your attitude dictates lots of this). The point of all of this is to say that I bloody love the NHS.  I have had wonderful care from the local midwives and when things looked iffy, I had wonderful care from the local hospital to check that everything was healthy, which, thankfully it was. By some stroke of luck/God/fate I have found myself living in an area which just happens to have a brand new birth centre in it. An award winning,  midwife led birth centre which has five double suites with a whole host of fancy equipment to help you give birth naturally.  All of this is free to me. I simply cant fathom living somewhere where I couldn't always visit the doctor when I wanted to check something, of having to take out horrifically expensive health care insurance in order to pay for my care. Of not being able to access free, midwife led maternity care. Essentially, I feel so very lucky to be a British citizen with access to our brilliant National Health Service.


So its a bit of a pity that  the current government is trying to butcher it.  The Health and Social Care Bill will change the NHS from a national, collaborative health service into a competitive, market-based system, which is entirely unsuitable.  The bill is nearing the end of its parliamentary cycle which means its almost crunch time. The government, in a rather desperate scramble to get the bill through have tabled over a hundred amendments to try to keep everyone happy; unsuccessfully.  It has suffered numerous defeats and been derided by doctors, nurses and other health professionals. But the government are pushing ahead with it. I know the NHS isn't perfect, and not all of my care has been 100% perfect,  but I strongly believe that the current reforms are going to do irreparable damage. This short piece by Cathy Warwick, Chief Executive of the Royal College of Midwives, is a good summary of whats wrong with the bill (I haven't got the energy to go into it here). I'm also planning on attending this rally in March, if I can face waddling down too. 


Anyway. Hurray for the NHS and long may it live.  

Grazia: have a sweet crafty Valentines!

I've had fun over the last couple of days pulling together some sweet crafty Valentines ideas for Grazia.  Hop over to read 7 ideas to turn Valentines from a mass produced corporate tack fest into something a wee bit more personal and unique. The ideas include make your own knickers, washi tape love messages, DIY love heart jumpers, scrabble messages, chocolate fudge, sugar cookies and a knit your own boyfriend kit amongst other things.  All this Valentines research might just tempt me out of my usual misery guts, bah humbug response to old St Val. We'll see!

One of my favourite ideas is to commission a custom portrait, or buy a unique print from an illustrator. Here are some of my favourites...

Custom piece by Abby Wright. Prices start from £40

Custom portrait by Gemma Milly, prices start from £50

Amazing print by Rebecca Hendin, found via Amelia's Magazine. Available from her website- but she will also do custom pieces too I think.

Spooning Squirrels print by Sandra Dieckmann, available from her Etsy shop. Gorgeous eh?

Custom piece of Florence Welch by Faye West she also does commissions. 

So- i'm sure the illustrators would love to hear from you if you want to get your love a print or custom piece (cant wait to commission something when the baby arrives!)Leave a comment below if you are an illustrator offering a similar service.

London day: Breakfast, stars, market

We set out to Greenwich park on a cold bright January morning on a date day organised by my mister (my Christmas present). Smoked Salmon and cream cheese bagels and a flask of hot coffee were consumed on a frosty bench with a bright blue sky overhead and London, looking gorgeous, spread before us. My Space obsession was fuelled with a trip to the Planetarium to learn about the constellations of the stars and planets. Sitting in reclining chairs with the night sky whooshing around our heads as we were talked through the story of the stars was wonderful; If you've never visited a planetarium, I highly recommend it. Next, a trip on the DLR (at the front, my favourite) to East London, to visit Broadway market. We queued for hot falafel wraps then ambled down the road, popping into little shops, squeezing past tightly packed food stalls, and rummaging through vintage clothes rails. We found two rare seats then holed up in a coffee shop with Chelsea buns and hot coffee to people-watch and talk shit. A pub, then dinner at the Rivington; divine creamy scollops and lamb pie.

Greenwich Park, frosty

London, gorgeous.

Hot coffee, so good on that cold cold day

New lips, courtesy of Mac (and my sister)

The Greenwich naval college, Canary Wharf in the background.

Low sun, bump

Mister, bundled up

Grass, frozen solid, before the sun had found it. 

Head in the stars, Planeterium

'Driving' the DLR. So cool....

Coffee, polkadots

Broadway market

Scollops, candles, wine; divine!

A perfect day- all the more precious as it'll be one of our last dates before we're three.

Not that we're planning on stopping date dates when the baby comes- on the contrary- we're already queueing up babysitters (seriously- planning time just for the two of us away from our baby is a priority for us) but it'll be one of the last before we have a baby at home to get back too (whoa!).  I've also been squeezing in as many dinner parties, brunches, after work drinks and movie nights as possible (mostly sans camera, unfortunately), in an effort to see friends and eat new food and see new things before we effectively become hermits for a few months. Suffice to say its been lots of fun and a lovely excuse to do fun London stuff and demand time from my friends. 

Anyway- hope you're all very well, and that any Londoners out there arent too chilly in this cold snap (brrrr!)